


Align

by Trash



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Cecil Is a Good Boyfriend, Gender Dysphoria, M/M, Trans Character, and Carlos is petrified, coming out is the worst, ftm!Carlos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-03
Updated: 2016-03-03
Packaged: 2018-05-24 13:58:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6155884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trash/pseuds/Trash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carlos has something he needs to tell Cecil, and Cecil has a rainbow cat sweater.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Align

It had been the kind of day that Carlos had thought he left behind in New York, along with his birth-name and the ‘excuse me, miss?’ and the ‘your mother is just…disappointed that you won’t be giving us any grandkids, is all’. It took him an hour after his alarm actually went off to get out of bed, and even then it was only because he could hear his colleagues in the lab. 

Rocco had rapped his knuckles sharply against the door that separates Carlos’ apartment from the lab, saying, “Hey boss. You coming out to play?”

Carlos cleared his throat, tried to put a smile in his voice. “Yeah. Just. Gimme a sec.”

“Sure thing,” Rocco said, and then he was gone.

Carlos had swung his feet over the side of the bed and stared at them for a full minute, counting his breaths as whatever counted for time in Night Vale ticked by. He had slept with his binder on again, which was starting to become a problem. Just the thought of it made him shiver, skin crawling. 

Dysphoria gripped him like a hand round his throat, and he wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed and go back to sleep. Instead, he got up and pulled on yesterday’s clothes without looking at himself in the mirror. His hair defied gravity, so he tended to just let it be and hope it came across like he was going for some kind of dishevelled look. 

His colleagues had sensed his tension early on, so didn’t tease him quite as relentlessly as they usually would when the ceaseless dog barking on the radio gave way to Cecil’s dulcet tones. For the first five minutes of his show he waxed poetic about how tonight would be their fourth date. “Four dates, listeners!” Cecil had enthused. “I think we have a really good thing going here. Don’t you?”

“Oh definitely,” said Rocco with a smile.

Carlos’ face heated up and he almost dropped the glass pipette he was holding. Bethany looked at him, closer than he would have liked her to. “You okay, boss? You know we’re just joking around, right?”

“Right. Right. Yeah.”

“So. Where you taking him?”

“Huh?”

Bethany raised an eyebrow. “Cecil. On your date. Where are you taking him?”

“His place or yours?” 

“Rocco –”

Rocco held up his hands, submitting under Bethany’s glare. “Hey. Sorry. It’s just. Fourth date, man. That usually means you’re going to get laid.”

Carlos felt physically sick. Of course, of course this was going to come up eventually. So far they hadn’t gotten past the kissing part, which had been incredible and very obviously left Cecil wanting more. But he was respectful when Carlos had kissed him one last time and wishes him goodnight. Now, though…

“Hey, guys. I’m not…feeling too good so I’m gonna-” His excuse died on his tongue and he high-tailed it across the lab to the apartment, closing and locking the door behind him. He could do this. It was just a date. Nothing had to come of it. And it certainly didn't mean he had to talk to Cecil about anything he didn't want to. If there’s one thing Cecil will do, pressing Carlos into anything he doesn’t want is not it.

He checked the time on the microwave, more out of habit than anything else, and stuck his middle finger up at the infinity sign it displayed. Helpful. His watch told him he had about an hour until Cecil's show finished, which gave him about ninety minutes until Cecil said he would call to check arrangements. 

Carlos glanced around his tiny bedsit and closed his eyes. Your place or his, Rocco's voice asked in his head. Definitely not here. Especially since Cecil would have to get back into his car outside of Big Rico's and all of the patrons would know something was up. Not so perfect after all, they'd say to one another. He would face scorn on the streets for disappointing the Voice of Night Vale. He would have to leave. 

He didn't realise he had collapsed until he came to, half under the kitchen table. "Damnit," he muttered, getting to his shaky feet carefully. "Deep breaths," he told himself as he braced both hands on the countertop. "Okay. You need to shower. You need to dig out a clean binder and pick something to wear. So. Do it."

He felt silly, standing there talking to himself, but it worked. He padded to the bathroom robotically, going through the motions. 

His phone vibrated itself across, and then off the end of, the bedside cabinet just as he was wriggling into his binder. Breathless, he snatched it up, smiling softly at the contact picture of Cecil. "Hey," he answered, jamming his phone between his ear and shoulder as he tugged his binder down.

"Hello, handsome," Cecil said, and Carlos all but swooned. "I wondered if you had plans for this evening? If not, I would very much like to invite you here. To...to my place. For dinner! Just. I would like to cook. For you. And. That would be..." Cecil trailed off, flustered. 

"Neat?" Carlos offered. 

Cecil groaned. "Please don't tease me."

"I'm sorry, sweetie," Carlos said, smiling. "I'd love to come over. Give me twenty minutes?"

When he hung up Carlos had to pull his clothes on quickly before he had some sort of nervous break down. He could do this, it would be fine. Cecil was nothing like any of the other people he had come out to. Not only was he otherworldly, but he was also incredibly gentle. So surely he wouldn't rant and rant about him like he does with Steve Carlsberg. Right?

Right?

He stood in front of the mirror on the back of the bathroom door, scrutinising his appearance until the Faceless Old Women Who Secretly Lives In Your Home turned out the light, plunging him into darkness. He took that as a sign that he looked okay, rather than that she didn't want to look at him. 

Carlos walked to calm his nerves. The sun still hadn't set, but he had missed the weather so he wasn't sure if it would be doing so any time soon or if it wouldn't set until tomorrow. Once outside of Cecil's apartment he wiped his clammy hands on his jeans and rang the doorbell. 

When Cecil opened it his smile made Carlos' knees weak. He was wearing a, frankly, hideous sweater with rainbow cat faces printed all over it and bright yellow corduroy trousers. He was bare foot, toes painted with frosted pink nail polish. "Hello."

Carlos almost forgot himself. "Hey. Sorry if I'm late. You know. Time." He laughed anxiously, rubbing at the back of his neck. He suddenly wished he had worn a different shirt. The 'Talk NErDy to me' shirt was a gift from his brother when he got his doctorate and he had loved it instantly. Now it was worn and soft in all the right places, but he was pretty sure his binder was visible under it. 

"Come in," Cecil said, stepping back. "You look amazing." He closed the door and turned to kiss Carlos softly. 

"Thanks," Carlos murmured against his lips. "So do you."

Cecil's face flushed and his tattoos moved across his skin. "I. Uh. I'm no chef. But I'm going to make you my favourite stuff so. I hope that's...okay?"

Carlos realised that he had been zoned out and blinked rapidly. "Uh-"

"My darling Carlos, is there something wrong?"

"Yes," Carlos said, regretting it instantly when a shadow crosses Cecil's face. "I mean, no! No. Okay. I need to. There's something I have to tell you." He guided Cecil over to the couch and sat down beside him, their hands linked lightly between them.

Cecil looked positively wrecked. 

"Okay. So. I. I don't know how to tell you this." Carlos closed his eyes and sighed heavily. 

"Carlos-"

Carlos opened his eyes and looked directly at Cecil. "I'm transgender."

Cecil stared openly, saying nothing. Carlos felt his face get hot. 

"Which means I uh, I wasn't born into the right body. Basically. So. I. My body is different. To what you might...expect. I mean. I'm on hormones, which is why-" he gestured vaguely at his face, "but I haven't...there's surgeries that I could have but they're expensive and the recovery time is unbelievable and mmf!" He found himself cut off mid-ramble by Cecil's lips on his. 

Cecil pulled back and smiled sheepishly. "I didn't know how to make you stop talking," he said. He shifted closer so their knees touched. "So what did you come over to tell me? Are you sick?" Cecil paled "My dear Carlos, please, are you leaving? Or-"

This time was Cecil's turn to be cut off as Carlos propelled himself forward into his boyfriend's arms, holding him tight. 

"Oh. Hey."

"M'sorry," Carlos mumbled. Tears were flowing freely and being absorbed by Cecil's sweater but, at the same time, Carlos was unable to stop smiling. 

"What's wrong? Is there some sciencing you need to tell me about?"

"Huh?"

Cecil pushed him away gently and frowned, studying his face carefully. "My dear heart, is that...was that what you wanted to tell me? About your body?"

Carlos sniffled, wondered what rules there were about crying on your forth date. "Well. Yeah."

"Oh. But you're...a man. I knew that. There are so many things I have to be unsure of, but that is not one of them. Mirrors, yes. You, no."

"Are you-" kidding? 

"I love you, Carlos. But you are starting to scare me."

Carlos couldn't stop the laugh that escaped him. Cecil was still really waiting for him to tell him something life changing, like his gender identity wasn't an issue at all. Like Carlos hadn't considered turning himself in to the Sheriff's Secret Police about having a stash of contraband pens just to escape having to have this conversation. 

"I'm sorry," Carlos managed eventually, smiling so much his face hurt. "Where I'm from, stuff like that is usually a bigger deal. I...there's nothing wrong."

Cecil almost fainted with visible relief. "Oh thank the Spire! I do not take any notice of people's body issues. I once had a boyfriend with tentacles."

Carlos blinked, processing. "Tentacles."

"Yes! Oh they were just darling. Awfully messy, though."

"That's...enough. Anyway. Are you...do you have any questions?"

Cecil blushed suddenly, his tattoos squirming. "Yes, actually. Can I kiss you again?"

Carlos couldn't move fast enough, crawling into Cecil's lap and kissing him deeply. "I love you," he whispered against Cecil's lips when they parted. 

"I love you too, handsome, wonderful, brilliant Carlos."

Fin.


End file.
